Secret # 1

STOP TAKING HIS BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY

His behavior is all about him. It truly has nothing to do with you. He is choosing to behave badly, you are not causing his bad behavior. I know it is hard to believe because he is constantly telling you it is your fault. That is a lie so he can blame you and not take responsibility.

Secret # 2

STOP EXPECTING HIM TO CHANGE

The truth is, your expectation of him changing is causing your suffering. He is not going to change unless he really wants to. And even then he won’t change because it is lip service to get you to stop being mad at him. He will tell you what you want to hear and then most likely go back to his old behavior.

Secret # 3

STOP RESPONDING WHEN HE UPSETS YOU

He says and does things with the intention to upset you. That is how he gets attention and supply. When he upsets you, he gets a reaction out of you which gives him supply, in other words, energy. He cannot give him self love so he gets it from your reaction, even if it is hurtful to you and negative attention because that gives him power over you.

Secret # 4

STOP ALL CONTACT

Block him all possible ways: calling, texting, e-mails, facebook, instagram, in person. While this can be difficult with sharing kids, sending the signal that you are no longer available to be his whipping post is an important boundary that will help you keep your peace.

Secret # 5

START TURNING TOWARDS YOURSELF

Turning towards yourself and learning to love yourself is crucial to having a loving relationship with yourself and with someone else. You cannot give what you do not have inside, and no, caretaking is not love. And remember, self love is not selfish.